[Vocaloid] Ienikaeruto tsumaga kanarazu shindafuri wo shiteimasu

Song: 家に帰ると妻が必ず死んだふりをしています。| Ienikaeruto tsumaga kanarazu shindafuri wo shiteimasu | When I Come Home My Wife Will Surely Be Playing Dead
Written, produced and arranged by: ほぼ日P
Version sung by halyosy (most lively) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DMti9MNyW4
Version sung by xiao (my favourite because he sounds like real life Kaito) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wO_NVCVjZA

When I opened the door my wife collapses onto me
With a kitchen knife sticking out of her back
The floor is full of blood
Strangers who see a scene like this would probably faint

Calming myself down, I say
“Today’s housework seems to be hard on you”
And as I laughed
My wife who’s lying on the floor, looking satisfied
Chuckled evilly ‘ku ku ku’

When I come home, my wife will surely be playing dead
What sort of dying style will she display tomorrow
I can’t even begin to imagine

There was the time when she had an arrow pierced through her head
And the time when she was in military garb, cradling a gun
When she played dead dressed in the starfish kigurumi
I nearly wanted to slam the door shut (on her)

Cleaning up after her stage play is not easy
Having to scrub out the clots of blood stuck to the floor
I wish she’d spare me this though, when
She would proceed to make dinner with the arrow pierced through her head

When I come home, my wife will surely be playing dead
If I praise her even a little, she would get so proud of herself
so that as much as I can, -ignoreeee-

Before marriage, no matter how busy I was
It would be fun and enjoyable to just meet up with her
In the car, we’d speed along aimlessly all night long
Although the initial plan was to go to the beach

Right after marriage, for the first time I was assigned subordinates
Work became so much more enjoyable that
I failed to think about
My wife’s feelings as she waited alone at home all day

Her playing dead when I come home
Is it because she wants to return to that time (before we married)
I don’t really know

Her waiting for me when I come home, me ‘watching’ her performance
Could that be counted as our way of showing affection
I’m sure something like that does exist

When I come home, my wife will surely be playing dead
What sort of dying style will she display today
Brimming with expectations, I pushed open the door